Only one more to go!!!

About a half hour ago I took my second to last shot. I can't even believe it. Crazy! The first month gave me so much anxiety. I hate needles, I still do, but back then I would work myself into such a panic and have a complete melt down before I even gave myself the shot. It was hell!! I don't know that it was the needles so much as knowing the side effects were coming. They were so intense especially at first. Now it seems so common place that I'm not even sure what I'll do with myself when I start feeling better. I'm so excited but almost don't believe it'll happen. It's a weird emotional and psychological place to be in I'll tell you that much!

I experienced a bit of nausea today. It was pretty bad however it didn't last but a couple of hours so that was good. When it comes to this stuff I have learned to turn it into a positive as quickly as possible! I'm still super exhausted. I walked a good two miles today, maybe slightly more to run some errands. I intended to catch the bus but I kept missing it by mere seconds and it was so wet and cold out I figured I'd fare better walking than sitting at a bus stop. Not so sure about that now. I came home and slept for two hours just to wake up feeling sick. I chatted with a few friends online, contemplated cleaning my house but just zoned out instead before taking my shot. Now it's time to call it a night (yet again) and hopefully have enough motivation to get some house work done in the morning. Having zero energy sucks!! Thank god this won't last too much longer!!

two and a half weeks to go!

I can't believe treatment will be over on Jan 20th!! In my head it seems like it's never going to get here but in reality it'll be here in a blink of an eye. Plus I only have two more shots to take!! I keep fantasizing that the fatigue will magically disappear the second treatment is over but even the long term disability rep told me that's not likely to happen. As scared as I am to return to the real world I'm really excited to get on with my life! Having this much needed time off work to take care of myself mentally, physically, and in turn spiritually, has been the best thing that could have ever happened to me! It has been really hard and I've had to work through a lot of things but I'm almost done and that still amazes me!! Not much else to report at this point, I'm just extremely tired (as always) and counting the days until I am done!