note to self:

As my day has progressed I've felt worse both physically and emotionally. The physical part (mainly nausea) is normal but the headache is pretty intense, add to that the fact that my mind won't stop telling me that treatment is just unbearable, is in itself, unbearable! Ugh. I realized shortly thereafter that I forgot to take my meds this morning and took them in the afternoon. I also didn't divide all of my pills up by day like I had planned to do so I think I forgot to take my anti-depressant. It's weird to think that only one day of not taking it might be the culprit. Well I guess that's about it, just needed to make a note of this for myself and for anybody out there who might end up going through the same thing. Time to take my shot and go to bed. I hope to wake up, TAKE ALL OF MY MEDS ASAP, and have a better night tomorrow, it is after all, a new day!

Getting Through It!

I suppose it's fair to say that things are going well. I've felt a little more sick last week but the fatigue wasn't quite as bad. I went to Seattle this weekend for a high school friend's memorial and was so tired afterward I slept Monday away and didn't leave bed much today until I met up with some friends for a few hours. Now I'm home and actually rather awake though I have no question that if I lay down I will likely fall asleep easily. While I seem to either be nauseous or fatigued day by day at least lately it hasn't been both at the same time. I've had many days like that and I'm glad they are in the past. This thing isn't over just yet though so who knows. I'm just glad I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I received all of my retro pay from work and will be getting paid through Nov 30th. Short Term Disability is reviewing my last doctor notes to see if I qualify for an extension after that. My old phone was freaking out and not holding a charge so I bought myself a new one but otherwise I'm just socking the money away as I have a feeling most of it will be going right back to work for PTO I used but didn't accrue and other various expenses I haven't thought of yet. I have a lead on a potential new job since I likely won't have one to return to in January. Nothing set in stone whatsoever but good to have on the backburner, ya know? I also plan to contact a civil liberties and/or employment lawyer soon to find out what my rights are and if anything can be done. While what my work has done to me appears to be perfectly legal it isn't ethical at all. I don't know if that gives me anything to stand on but I think it's worth bringing to someone's attention as it really needs to change. Enough about work stuff though, that shit just stresses me out!!

At least at this stage in my life I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what happens I will be taken care of. It's been proven time and time again and I know full well I'm doing the right thing for myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm so glad treatment is working and that I only have two months to go!!! :)